How to Exploit the Vendors
part of the MTT Symposium is the trade show. Three quarters of the
come only for the trade show, and have nothing to do with the technical
sessions. This means that the trade-show portion of the MTT is crawling
with money-hungry plutocrats who have paid a bundle to be at the show
are dying to sell you their junk.
If this sounds like an opportunity
you're right. They're hungry for what you've got (a siphon tube in the
corporate money tank), and you should be hungry for what they've got
below). This is called capitalism.
So, how do you exploit these guys?
The vendors seem to have taken a lesson from the Dutch explorers who
bought Manhattan for $10 worth of beads. (OK, I know the story's
but why shouldn't I exploit conventional ignorance? The salesmen all do
it.) These guys are convinced that you're about as easily bought. The
in the booths hand out all kinds of junk, but it must be worth
judging by the way people grab for it.
Anyway, this opens up some possibilities for fun:
Have a contest to see who can collect the most keychains and pocket
See who can eat the most give-away candy. Even if you lose, you won't
dinner, and you can save your travel money for beer. (For even more
food ideas, click here.)
Try to find compatibilities between trinkets, and make the most of
Company "A" gives out baseballs, for example. Can you find a company
gives out bats?
Or, even better, try to find a three-way compatibility. For example,
"A" gives out .357 magnums, company "B" give away ammunition, and
"C" sells telephone lists to recruiters.
There isn't much "jiggle" at the MTT trade show. Most salesmen think
that this kind of software just distracts the younger guys from the
(the really sexy stuff) they're selling, and frustrates the
ones. Many salesmen recruit their wives for help at the show. This
tell you something.
Many companies have hospitality suites in the headquarters hotel where
you can get a free beer, some hors d'oeuvres, and information on their
products. If you drink enough beer, you can sit through the whole
spiel and can even act like you're interested. Be sure to throw up on
carpet as you leave.
Many vendors host parties every year for their customers. If
you're a good customer, or at least are really good at sucking up, you might actually get an invitation. (To
up really well, imagine that the salesman's your father-in-law, and you
need a loan.)
Salesmen often give out free samples, but rarely of anything useful.
Still, if you get enough of them, they might be good for something. For
example, they might be poisonous and taste good to lawyers.